Amber Heard plays Piper, who Milton meets at a diner while poring over a map. The Accountant’s sole purpose is to retrieve Milton & bring him back to Hell, where Satan isn’t too happy that Milton escaped from. As played by William Fichtner, The Accountant is one of the best characters I’ve seen in a movie in a long time. Another problem that Milton has is that Satan has dispatched a bounty hunter of sorts called “The Accountant”. Now he has the baby but he is aware that Milton is looking for him so he’s trying to keep the baby away until the new moon rises when he can perform the ritual that will bring “Hell On Earth”. Of course, he kills her afterwards but that doesn’t get him back his pecker (which is referred to a lot in this movie). She did this because she wanted out & he wanted her & the baby to stay. Jonah has no penis because Milton’s daughter bit it off while performing oral on him. He has done this to save his infant granddaughter from being sacrificed by a Satanic cult led by Jonah King (Billy Burke). The story you ask? Ok, here I go…Cage plays John Milton, who has just escaped from Hell (That’s right. Any movie that features Nic Cage drinking beer from someone’s recently dislodged jawbone is a movie you have to see. Fuck “Death Proof”! This would have perfect after “Planet Terror”. As a matter of fact, it should have been the 2nd feature on the Rodriguez/Tarantino epic “Grindhouse”.
The kind of movie that might have been made in the 70’s when all the best exploitation films were released.
There’s simply no other way to say it…”Drive Angry” rocks! It is a literal blast from the past.
I wasn’t anxious to see him perform in another tragically bad movie but it was “Shot in 3D” as the ad’s claimed so I figured “What The Heck”.īoy am I glad I did! “Drive Angry 3D” is one of the most over the top films starring a actor of Cage’s stature in years. His latest attempt to get on the good side of the movie going public is a 3D film called “Drive Angry”. No, now it’s stuff like “The Sorcerers Apprentice” or “Season Of The Witch” or even “Kick Ass” (which by the way really did kick ass). And they aren’t the prestige parts that he received after winning his Oscar for “Leaving Las Vegas” oh so long ago. What is it with Nicholas Cage these days? I know he has had some financila troubles as of late & he might need the money but he seems to have a new movie out every other month or so. A man escapes from Hell on a mission to rescue his granddaughter from being sacrificed by a Satanic cult.
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